I'm gonna try a new thing: Foreign Lands Roundup

So here's the deal, folks. I'm currently living in a Foreign Land. And I like learning about things going on in other Foreign Lands. So I'm going to start a new, probably weekly, blog feature called the "Foreign Lands Roundup" where I attempt to give some of you uncultured cretins an idea of what's happening in the world beyond your own backyards. The idea is that it will be a few short, possibly funny blurbs about some Important Things that have happened in the last week that You May Have Missed since CNN fired Octaiva Nasr and Christiane Amanpour is now doing something (possibly the weather?) on ABC. I'm going to try this out for a bit, and I'd love to hear some feedback from you guys - what do you think? Worth including in the blawg? Let me know!

So, without further stalling for time, here's your Week in Foreign Lands Roundup(TM):

• So Australia apparently had an election this weekend. Which, first of all, who has weekend elections? What is that? And second of all, good for them! Apparently there was no violence at the polls, but there was a political-candidate-eating-crocodile or something. Also, Australia, I think we need to talk. Look guys. Just because Britain does something doesn't mean you have to do it too. I know, I know, you still insist on being a pretend constitutional monarchy or whatever, but I think the whole world knows that you only do it to keep the queen's picture on your money. What happens when she dies, god forbid? You'll just have to print up entirely new money, and no one wants that. But I digress. See, earlier this year, the UK held elections that resulted in a hung parliament. Naturally, then, when Australians had a choice at the polls last Saturday between a mildly nice lawyer lady and a Literal Crazy Person, they chose...a hung parliament. ATTENTION PEOPLE WITH FUNNY ACCENTS: MAKE POLITICAL DECISIONS.[BBC] 

Viktor Bout being led off by Thai police. Photo via

• Comically James-Bond-villain-esque Viktor Bout will be extradited to the United States to face charges related to decades of arms smuggling in conflicts around the world. Seriously, if you take a look at any of the major (and many of the minor) conflicts from the last 20 or 30 years, you will find that Viktor Bout has, in some way, been evilly involved in every one of them. From Colombia to Afghanistan, including stops in Angola, Sierra Leone, and almost certainly any of the conflicts resulting from the breakup of the former Yugoslavia, Viktor Bout has been there, smiling his smarmy smile, looking out from his creepy mustache. This would be an example of an Actual Evil Person, and it's probably a good thing that he's going away for a long, long time. Unless, of course, the sharks with lasers are a success and manage to free him from his prison cell. Best evidence that he's evil? Nicholas Cage played him in a feature film. [Reuters]

• The Roma are the redheaded stepchildren of Europe. No one wants them, and everyone wonders about that smell that always seems to crop up when they are around. Mostly, they are just "tolerated" in polite European societies (by which I mean "routinely beaten by the police, arrested, and used as political scapegoats"), but last week, President Sarkozy of France decided to really get back to his nativist, immigrant-bashing roots and just cold deport a whole mess of 'em back to Romania or whatever. They come from Romania, right? That sounds right, anyway. Of course, when you deport people in the EU, you have to give them 300 Euros for their hassle. And when you deport people within the EU, you can't really keep them from coming back to your EU member country. So basically what's happening now is the Roma are getting kicked back to Romania, where they will wait in the airport for like a day or so, and then go back to France using their gypsy magic (airplanes) or something. It's all a beautiful part of the natural cycle of labor migration! [France24]