QUIT SNEAKING INTO NORTH KOREA

Ok guys we need to have a discussion. As some of you may know, there has been a recent spate of Westerners (mostly Americans) sneaking into North Korea and getting caught. Perhaps the most high-profile instance was last summer, when journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee were caught and detained for several months before Bill Clinton had to go over to North (or "Best") Korea to save their asses.

A happy ending

More recently, however, an English teacher in South Korea from the States, Aijalon Mahli Gomes, was captured and sentenced to a labor camp for entering the country illegally. There has been much speculation as to why he went over - from 'he just loved Best Korea that much' to 'he wanted to bring the love of Jesus Christ to the poor heathen North Koreans' - but there has been no official word regarding what he was really doing in the north. So now President Jimmy Carter has flown to Pyongyang to...do something.

 Apparently part of it is getting smacked by little girls.

Here's some interesting information about Carter and North Korea: back in 1994, he was sent to North Korea on a "covert" mission (covert in that it was ostensibly personal and not sanctioned by the Clinton administration) to mediate a conflict between the DPRK and USA (about nuclear arms, I believe - how things have changed!). He was extraordinarily successful, going so far as to negotiate the framework for a treaty (which was TOTALLY not part of his mission) of understanding between the two nations. Long story short (too late!) he's got a fair bit of understanding and insight into the situation up'air.

Of course his talents are being employed to go rescue some adventurer or thrill-seeker or do-gooder in North Korea. And I'm not arguing that homeslice should remain in prison, but I think our humanitarian former presidents probably have better things to do with their time than rescuing people who get themselves in these situations.

So here's the deal guys: QUIT DOING THIS. QUIT SNEAKING INTO NORTH KOREA. IT WILL NOT END WELL FOR YOU. I do not care what your reason it, whether it's humanitarian or information-seeking. The thing is, folks, we have professionals who are working to deal with North Korea. They are called diplomats, and they are FAR better trained than you are in bringing about peace or learning information or Jesus-ing people or whatever it is you think you need to do up in there. Now please, PLEASE just let Jimmy Carter take a nap. He looks like he needs one. Stay out of North Korea except through legal means. And make damn sure those means are really legal.