An open letter to the tree in my school's playground

Dear Cicada Tree,

You used to be such a good tree. I rather liked you, in fact. They way you stood apart from the stand of trees in the garden, lending your own shade on the pathway around the field up to my school. You proudly stood for an independence and self-sufficience that so few trees these days are willing to take on. I admired you. I enjoyed walking past you, not just because it meant I wouldn't have to get my shoes dirty on the constantly sandy or muddy field, but because you provided a brief but welcome respite from the relentless Korean heat. I enjoyed that I could look out of my classroom window and see you standing there, proud and alone.

But not lately. The last couple weeks, I've noticed that things have changed. I cannot walk past you without a gnawing fear growing in the pit of my stomach. And it's not you, per se, Tree, that is causing my anxiety. Rather, it's what is living amongst your branches. And I think you know what I'm talking about.

The cicadas.

Those hideously loud, nasty, enormous devil bugs that let us know the hottest days of summer are upon us. At first, I thought it would be okay - you are a strong, independent tree, and you know how to take care of yourself! And when I first heard the air-raid siren-like screech of the cicadas, I did not hear them from your branches. So I thought to myself, "Thank goodness. Tree is alright."

But no. As I was walking home yesterday, I thought I would pass underneath you to take some shade and avoid the recently rained-upon mudpit field. But as I got closer, I noticed that the cicada noise was louder than ever, and it was coming directly from you. I thought that perhaps I was just hearing things - my hearing isn't the greatest to begin with, and I had been sick for the last couple of days.

As I approached your branches, though, I saw them. The Monsters, screaming their screams and dive-bombing their...dive-bombs...

I was devastated.

Et tu, Brute? Are you, too, housing these horrible devil-monsters? I can't believe it. I won't believe it! I am sure you are infested against your will...and if that's the case, well hold on. Wikipedia tells me that the mature adults will generally live only a few weeks above ground before finally, mercifully dying off for the rest of the year.

But not before having laid their eggs.

Oh you poor tree. You must go through this every summer! This macabre Rob Zombie-esque annual fight with what can only be described as the forces of Satan. Stand well, my friend, and continue to fight the good fight. Rest assured that we are hard at work finding a "final solution" of sorts to the Cicada menace. One day, you too will be free.

Sincerely looking forward to fall,
Nolen