In which I am mean to a manatee, or A Day At The Aquarium

Possibly one of my favorite things in the world is ocean life. There is very little that fills me with more awe and wonder than the oceans. I'm fairly convinced that sea monsters are real, and that we encounter them quite often. We have just come up with other names for them, like "sharks" and "sting rays" and "craplobsters" (though that last one might just be me, dating back to a particular childhood trauma where a relative had a lobster pinch her toe). Suffice it to say, I love oceans.

I love fish so much!

And aquariums (aquaria?) are some of my favorite places on the planet. It is my greatest sadness that I lived in the DC area for 5 years and never actually managed to visit the Baltimore aquarium. So I made sure that I took time to visit the Seoul Aquarium in the COEX mall here in South Korea. And it was pretty awesome...except for all the people.

Apparently, THE thing to do on a rainy Saturday afternoon in Seoul is to drag take your children to the aquarium. And THE thing to do once there is arrange 50 billion posed photos with uninterested children and parents in front of various sea life. Poor children.

You can see the excitement on their face when they first arrive. "LOOK AT THIS LOOK LOOK LOOK A WEIRD FISH!" (pause) "LOOK LOOK LOOK ANOTHER WEIRD FISH LOOK LOOK!" But then the parents! UGH THE PARENTS! Ruining it for the children. Shoving them through the exhibits at a pace that is either too fast or too slow, but definitely not the pace that the children want to go. Forcing them to read all the boring ass writing on the tanks and not learning any of the SERIOUSLY COOL stuff about the fish they are seeing (and will promptly forget). It made me very sad.

DO YOU SEE HOW COOL THIS IS?? IT IS A LIZARD ON TOP OF A TURTLE!!!!

The worst part, though, was just how crowded it all was. Being body checked through exhibits is definitely NOT my idea of fun, but I guess for some people, a crowd is just another thing to shove through. Because that will create the best museum experience for everyone.

But despite all that, I still had a great time at the aquarium. How could I not? GIANT SEA CREATURES and also some small ones. Here are some photos, courtesy of Meg:

 These are some monsters:

How is this not a monster?

It will totally eat your face.

They are small, but still monsters.

There were also some less threatening monsters, like penguins and sea turtles. Though they weren't threatening to eat my face, you could see the monster gleam in their eyes.

 The smaller turtle we saw that day.

  King Penguin.

This penguin was the best penguin ever. He basically just sat up there, watching all the loser young penguins swimmin around, actin like fools, and saying to himself "Yes. I am cool. I am way cooler than you penguins and I do NOT need to go swimming like an idiot. Have fun, nerds."

But ultimately, I showed the penguins who was REALLY boss here.

 YEAH SUCKAS! I AM BIGGER THAN YOU ALL!!

And then there were the manatees. Here's the thing about manatees: they are dumb creatures. Oh look at me! I'm a manatee! I'm gonna skim the pool for mold! WHATEVER SHUT UP, MANATEE. 

So here's a video of me being mean to a manatee.