Ugh. (WARNING: WHINY POST AHEAD)

Today in the Magical World of Nolen's Successes, I blew out a candle in my bathroom. And got hot wax all over my face. (I'm fine, but still picking wax out of my hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes, thanks for asking.)

This minor inconvenience has been pretty indicative of my last week or so...a lot of little, ridiculous annoyances adding up to just BLAH. So now I'm gonna tell you about it, internet. AREN'T YOU LUCKY???

It's a little hard to quantify, actually, but things just seem to have been piling up lately. Like my students (Qualifier: most of the time I really do like them, I promise!). For example, the other day as their class was being dismissed, one of the girls came to stare awkwardly at me, as is their custom. Since it was pretty warm last week, I had my sleeves pushed up - not the first time I've done this, mind you. But the kids are pretty obsessed with my arm hair, since I have a lush forest growing on my arms, and that is definitely not customary here in Korea. One of their favorite pastimes is to pet my arm hair. It started out as endearing, but it's gotten pretty old. Yes, I have arm hair. Yes, it's different from what you're used to. BUT MOVE ON.

And especially when I ask you to please stop, don't look at me, tell me "no" and continue to do it! And THEN when I tell you to leave my desk, don't giggle and say no again! It doesn't help that I don't know enough Korean to explain myself to her in Korean, not that it would help. When I speak Korean, mostly they just start talking about how I can speak Korean and spend the next 5 minutes trying to get me to say more things in Korean! Basically, to them, I am not a teacher, I'm this giant freak standing at the head of the room with whom it's play time.

I only get a little help from my co-teacher on this front, and the rest of the school teachers? Absolutely not. They see me in basically the same light as my students. And I'm at the point where I hate it. I hate being this freak to be gawked at. I hate being two sizes to big for this country. I hate that my students give me no respect, and look at me like I'm their pet. I hate planning, I hate students, I hate teaching. I hate that somehow, I am expected to make students come to classes their parents don't have to pay for, are after school, and conflict with their other activities. I hate that I am expected to do this not speaking their language. I hate coming home exhausted. I hate not knowing what people around me are saying. I hate not being able to eat properly because I don't really have anyplace - or anything - to cook. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

Two qualifiers:

First, everything I've read online talks about the three month phases. For the first three months, everything is new and exciting and shiny and you are just so excited to be here! And then at about the three month mark, the contrast between your home culture and the new culture becomes stark. You become annoyed, agitated, and most of all, homesick for your comfort zone. And then, three months later, you start finally truly adjusting to the new culture. You find your niche, and things begin to improve. I just have to get there.

And I'm sure I will. I have good friends here, and a well-placed trip to the States for Justin's wedding in slightly less than two months. Which, coincidentally, is the end of the semester, leading to a break from the current routine. I also have a plan to keep myself occupied and active, which will hopefully help. So it's not all bad news.

The second qualifier: I don't always feel like this. In fact, I don't usually feel like this. I'm pretty good at finding the positive (no comments from the peanut gallery, thank you very much), and most days I'm excited to go to school, and I really do like this country. I promise, I really am doing well, I'm just having a blah moment, and I think it's important to let everyone know it's not all sunshine and smilestimes here. And I only occasionally get candle wax all over my face. So. NO WORRIES, PEOPLE.