My Procrastination

I have a not-insignificant amount of work to finish this evening. So of course, I am doing a great job perfecting my procrastination skills. Here's how it goes:

Step 1: Turn on computer

Step 2: Open MS Word & the appropriate document to complete. Wait the 5 minutes it takes Word to open on this infernal machine. WHY WON'T YOU OPEN FASTER???

Step 3: Wonder how much it would cost to get a new computer. Or a new version of Word, since yours was pirated obtained legally

Step 4: Stare at the blinking cursor. Forget, then remember, what exactly you were supposed to be doing here. Oh right. Lesson plans. UGH

Step 5: BOO LESSON PLANS. Become all put-upon that you have to do so many lesson plans by tomorrow. It's not like they're even going to resemble the lesson that actually goes down in the class! WEH WEH WEH

Step 6: It's awfully quiet in here. Turn on teevee. Find something in English. Failing that, find something mildly palatable in Korean. Search the channels at least twice - what if you missed something??? Also turn on music. Consider carefully what music you will put on! It could be the most important choice of the evening! What will your last.fm followers think??

Step 7: Dag, you're hungry. Go out to the convenience store to pick up something to eat as a side dish for your dinner. Sabor de Soledad doritos? Peanut-corn puffs? Sun Chips? WHO EVEN KNOWS! Return, make dinner.

Step 8: Sit back at computer. Stare at the blinking cursor, not wanting to risk getting crumbs on the keyboard. Don't let that stop you from surfing the interwebiverse, though!

Step 9: Put on an episode of Battlestar Galactica. Promise self that you will also plan lessons while watching BSG

Step 10: Do not plan lessons. Put on second episode of BSG.

Step 11: EMAIL EMAIL EMAIL ALERT!!!!!! WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT??? OMG IT'S FROM FACEBOOK!!!

Step 12: Go on Facebook IMMEDIATELY to determine the level of importance of the email. It is super important.

Step 13: YES someone has a new photo album. Look wistfully at the water pictures and desire greatly that you should go to there soon.

Step 14: Remember you are going to America in about 6 weeks. Check airfare online. STILL SUPER EXPENSIVE

Step 15: Since you're on the internet, might as well check out what's new on BBC News. Many fascinating stories about Burmese elections and Nikki Haley and dire warnings from the IMF about British/German/Spanish/Hungarian/Everyone debt.

Step 16: Wikipedia Hungarian debt, then Hungary, then somehow end up reading about Charles Shulz. Hooray Wikipedia links game!

Step 17: My eyeballs hurt

Step 18: Why do my eyeballs hurt?

Step 19: Probably cause they are some little bitches

Step 20: Decide that this needs to be blogged about ASAP.

Step 21: Feel vaguely bad about not planning lessons, but feel worse about your eyeballs.

Step 22: Write long-winded blog post about procrastination that gets entirely too meta towards step 20. Ish.

Step 23: Scour IM list for people to chat with. Start several conversations and immediately get WAY too involved in them.

Step 24: Remember Word is still open. Which is probably why your eyeballs hurt, jerkass.

Step 25: Plan a couple lessons. Feel so good you need to take a break.

Step 26: Repeat. Be successful.

Yes folks, that's right. You are in the presence of a WINNER. Try not to get excessively jealous.