I MADE DINOSAUR SOAP

One of the bizarre perks of this job are the random trips you get/are forced to take with other English teachers. This leads to large groups of (largely white) English teachers roaming the Korean countryside awkwardly, generally having adventures. Take yesterday, for example. Yesterday, all the teachers in Osan and Hwaseong were pulled out of classes for the day to take a bus tour of some Historical Points of Interest that Should Not Be Missed in Hwaseong-si. These included the tomb of King Jangjo and Queen Hyoui, a memorial to the Jeam-ri massacre of 1919 (by the Japanese occupation, of course), and a visit to a soap-making herb garden.


Yes that's right. I got paid yesterday to take a field trip to go make some soap. Aren't you jealous?

Naturally, the soap-making was turned into a contest to see who could sculpt the best soap. Can you guess who won? It was not me! But shockingly, for those of you who recall how much I HATE arts and crafts, I took second place! By crafting a surprisingly good dinosaur. LOOK AT HIM IN ALL HIS MAJESTY!!!!

So majestic.

H

He is from Jurassic Park! Probably!

RAWR!

New dinosaur home

And now for the dilemma: So I have this really awesome soap dinosaur residing in my bathroom, generally threatening to eat the faces off of my enemies, and he needs a name. So I am going to ask you, fair blog reader(s, though that may be a little hopeful), to help me choose a name!

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!!

Or you can just leave a comment. Whatever, loser.

My Procrastination

I have a not-insignificant amount of work to finish this evening. So of course, I am doing a great job perfecting my procrastination skills. Here's how it goes:

Step 1: Turn on computer

Step 2: Open MS Word & the appropriate document to complete. Wait the 5 minutes it takes Word to open on this infernal machine. WHY WON'T YOU OPEN FASTER???

Step 3: Wonder how much it would cost to get a new computer. Or a new version of Word, since yours was pirated obtained legally

Step 4: Stare at the blinking cursor. Forget, then remember, what exactly you were supposed to be doing here. Oh right. Lesson plans. UGH

Step 5: BOO LESSON PLANS. Become all put-upon that you have to do so many lesson plans by tomorrow. It's not like they're even going to resemble the lesson that actually goes down in the class! WEH WEH WEH

Step 6: It's awfully quiet in here. Turn on teevee. Find something in English. Failing that, find something mildly palatable in Korean. Search the channels at least twice - what if you missed something??? Also turn on music. Consider carefully what music you will put on! It could be the most important choice of the evening! What will your last.fm followers think??

Step 7: Dag, you're hungry. Go out to the convenience store to pick up something to eat as a side dish for your dinner. Sabor de Soledad doritos? Peanut-corn puffs? Sun Chips? WHO EVEN KNOWS! Return, make dinner.

Step 8: Sit back at computer. Stare at the blinking cursor, not wanting to risk getting crumbs on the keyboard. Don't let that stop you from surfing the interwebiverse, though!

Step 9: Put on an episode of Battlestar Galactica. Promise self that you will also plan lessons while watching BSG

Step 10: Do not plan lessons. Put on second episode of BSG.

Step 11: EMAIL EMAIL EMAIL ALERT!!!!!! WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT??? OMG IT'S FROM FACEBOOK!!!

Step 12: Go on Facebook IMMEDIATELY to determine the level of importance of the email. It is super important.

Step 13: YES someone has a new photo album. Look wistfully at the water pictures and desire greatly that you should go to there soon.

Step 14: Remember you are going to America in about 6 weeks. Check airfare online. STILL SUPER EXPENSIVE

Step 15: Since you're on the internet, might as well check out what's new on BBC News. Many fascinating stories about Burmese elections and Nikki Haley and dire warnings from the IMF about British/German/Spanish/Hungarian/Everyone debt.

Step 16: Wikipedia Hungarian debt, then Hungary, then somehow end up reading about Charles Shulz. Hooray Wikipedia links game!

Step 17: My eyeballs hurt

Step 18: Why do my eyeballs hurt?

Step 19: Probably cause they are some little bitches

Step 20: Decide that this needs to be blogged about ASAP.

Step 21: Feel vaguely bad about not planning lessons, but feel worse about your eyeballs.

Step 22: Write long-winded blog post about procrastination that gets entirely too meta towards step 20. Ish.

Step 23: Scour IM list for people to chat with. Start several conversations and immediately get WAY too involved in them.

Step 24: Remember Word is still open. Which is probably why your eyeballs hurt, jerkass.

Step 25: Plan a couple lessons. Feel so good you need to take a break.

Step 26: Repeat. Be successful.

Yes folks, that's right. You are in the presence of a WINNER. Try not to get excessively jealous.

Getting Started: Not at all folksy

Alright folks, here we go. I've got my visa and my plane ticket, I am not at all packed, and I am leaving on Monday to move to South Korea where, apparently, I will be a teacher. How exactly did this happen? I'm not really sure myself, but last year, faced with the prospect of unending temp jobs that were not paying the billz (even with my mad skillz, yo), I decided that you know what? I'ma do this. I want to work in international relations, and this will be great experience!

Of course, it's not like I've ever taught a classroom before. Nor have I any formal training in, y'know, teaching methods. But here we are. I will just have to make it work.

So here I am, getting ready to move to Osan, South Korea (google maps it, yo), and I really have no idea what I'm doing. CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME.

Anyway, this is my blog. This will be where I recant my stirring adventures, incredible stories, and other Chaucerian tales. Welcome!