An open letter to the hot water heater in my apartment

Dear Hot Water Heater,

I know we haven't known each other for very long - only a little over three months - but I think we need to have a talk. You may think this forward of me, but I am a little upset with you. Perhaps I just haven't taken the time to get to know your quirks. I do try to spend a little time with you daily, whether it's in the shower or doing my dishes. I like to think we were starting to build a rapport together!

But a month or so ago, all that changed. I'm not sure what I did to anger you, but apparently it was bad. For some reason, the nice showers you gave me and the lovely heat you radiated from my floor just got to be all too much. And then you decided that 10 minutes of hot water was really all I needed. I'm not sure why you allotted me only 10 minutes, but I thought, "okay, I can work with this while I try to make amends to HWH."

Perhaps that was it. Perhaps the nickname came too early in our relationship. If that's the case, I am truly sorry. I can easily switch back to the more formal Hot Water Heater, if it will help us out. Because I do believe there can still be an us! We just have to work together to figure it all out - we are, after all, in this together. You and I, sailing down the whitewater rapids that is life in dynamic Korea.

But then again, maybe not. Maybe it is time to let go. Since yesterday, it seems like you have let go. Of course it happened while I had a guest over who needed to shower. I am not sure why you felt the need to take our fight public - a fight which, by the by, I wasn't even aware we were having. But to suddenly decide to produce no hot water whatsoever? Not cool! Not cool at all.

So now it's been two days. Two days, Hot Water Heater, of me being unable to shower, unable to wash my dishes. And that's just two days too long! I can understand the need to take a brief respite from your duties every once in a while. But it would be great if you took that rest and came back full force, ready to heat water to the best of your ability. Two days is just unacceptable. I am tired and dirty and just generally thrown off now! I need my morning shower like some people need their coffee - I just can't function without it.

And I miss you, Hot Water Heater. We had some good times, right? Me trying to figure out how to turn you on even though I can't read you. You alternating between boiling lava and ice at the slightest nudge of the faucet. I miss that! I miss...us. There I said it. I miss us! Come back to me, Hot Water Heater!

I know this will be difficult, but that's why I've enlisted some outside help. Yes, I called the landlord. Because I know we can get past this! But it's silly to try it on our own. We just need to admit that this is bigger than us. It's not something we can figure out on our own, but I am sure with the right professional help we can at the very least come to an understanding that will let coexist peacefully. Because Hot Water Heater, whatever I did to upset you, the dishes are starting to pile up. And I am starting to radiate stank lines. It's time for this standoff to end once and for all.

Please come back to me Hot Water Heater. I need you. I miss you.

With all my warmest affection and tenderness,
Nolen