Summer tiiiiiiiime

And the livin is easy...

Well relatively easy, at least. I started my Summer Camp on Monday, and that's been going pretty well. I come in to school in the mornings (lately drenched in sweat) and get into my classroom and set the airconjuseyo on ICE AGE. Then I slime down towards the teacher's lounge and begin my morning struggle with the copier machine.

I swear, human life would be made so much better if we just destroyed all the copy machines in existence.

This particular model likes to make about 3 copies before it decided to make those folded paper fans (you know the ones you'd make in school, to pretend you were fancy Old South old money? And fanned yourself on the po'ch? While "pretending" to sip mint juleps? No? Just me?). And then I have to stick my hand in the burning hot copier to try to unjam the damn thing. Which usually results in the paper tearing and creating a new jam. So the unbearably frustrating cycle continues.

My childhood fantasy.

But then it's time for class, and lately the classes have been going pretty well. I think it's partially because I don't have great expectations for the class, and there's really no pressure, so we can just have some fun. But it also may have something to do with the ease of the lessons - there's plenty of stuff for the kids to do, and they seem mostly willing to do it. But the biggest plus to the summer camps is that I have a (different) coteacher who will actually help translate directions! It's so nice to have that assistance in class.

And after about three hours of teaching, I have...nothing. My day is over. Well, over except fotr the fact that I have 5 more hours of SITTING AT A DESK until I can leave. So I have been watching teevee. A lot of teevee. But guys, there's only so much of this I can take...I can feel the craziness coming over me. Pretty soon, it's gonna get REAL in here.

Bored now.

So anyway, mostly I think I'm going to practice some impossible feats, like flying. Or kissing my own elbow. Or advanced calculus.

Wish me luck!

School's out for the summer!

Well, almost anyway. But for me, I only have one more day of teaching, and then it's off to America for a wedding (not mine, of course). And I'm pretty excited about that. Even though this semester has only been about 5 months long, it's seemed MUCH longer than that. It feels like an eon of attempting to corral kids who don't speak English and just want to play; of repeating the same damn sentence 8000 times with the kids and then getting stunned silence when they are asked to reproduce it on their own; of being shocked at the English they know; of actually realizing that it's not that they don't know English - they just don't want to talk in class; of being frustrated with administration; of ultimately enjoying (most) of this job. But you guys, I'm ready for a break.

Not that I'll have much of one! I will basically arrive in America and hit the ground running. AND I'll only be there for a week, which is not enough time by far for the amount of travel time it'll take. And then I come back to Korea and - SUMMER CAMP. Summer camp, for the uninitiated, is a little different here in the ROK. It's not the fun, lazy days involving crafts and swimming and campfire songs and all those other horrible things from our childhood.

This is not summer camp in Korea.

No, summer camp here is an entirely different animal. Korean summer camp = school. Yes, that's right. Just when they thought they could have a break from all the school they have during the normal year, what do they  get? MORE SCHOOL!!!

This is Korean summer camp. Please ignore the implicit racism of me using a photo 

of Chinese children. I couldn't find a good one of Koreans.

Yep, summer camp here = school. Poor things. Same thing in winter, too. Fortunately for them, their camps are usually only a week long (though many of them will also go to academy/hagwon in the summer for double classes. If you know a hagwon teacher, ask them about their summer schedule! It SUCKS). Unfortunately for me, I get to teach the same lessons 4 weeks in a row! Hurray!

So I am busy with the end of my semester, trying to regain my focus for teaching, and making worksheets. I just finished a powerpoint presentation on Shapes and Colors using Bauhaus/Neoplasticism art. I am REALLY excited for this. Because I am a giant nerd.

The other thing I am doing for summer camp (and hopefully next semester as well) to ensure my success is actually planning ahead. I want to have worksheets ready and powerpoints done so that I can be relaxed and at ease in the classroom. I want to plan some games for the students to play so they will have more fun in my classroom - apparently I am just not fun enough. The good news, though, is that I think I've got some good plans that should be relatively easy to implement. Also, the fall semester is about a month shorter than the spring semester (September - Christmas as opposed to March 1 to the end of July). And after the fall semester, is winter break! 6 glorious weeks of downtime (aka winter camp and vacation). Hurray!

So I suppose this is a much more update-y post than you've become accustomed to. But it's what you're getting this time, so enjoy!

Courtesy of Betsy

The long, hot days of summer seem to have arrived all at once to the Republic of Korea. This weekend, the temperatures shot up about 10-15 degrees (fahrenheit, obvs), and the Time of Sweating began. This is made especially exciting because of the near complete lack of airconditioning (aircon, a/c, depends on where you're from) in my school. Outside, the temperature is a warm but bearable 87-88, but inside my classroom I am fairly certain the ambient temperature is THE SURFACE OF THE SUN. Seriously! Even the hallways in my school are approximately infinity times cooler than my room! Of course, this leaves us with the unpleasant task of deciding whether to open all the windows in the classroom and deal with the outside distractions (both in the hallway and on the field, which my classroom overlooks), or face the very real potential of melting into a puddle of goo. Or spontaneously combusting. One of the two is sure to happen.

All this leads to the perennial question: how do you beat the heat? Of course, there's always the option of frozen drinks (preferably with alcohol in them!), but alcohol on school grounds is frowned upon. You can eat ice cream, but who wants to pack on the calories in the middle of bikini season! I've got to look good on the beach! Speaking of, there's always the tried-and-true method of lakes, rivers, the ocean, swimming pools, kiddie pools, even slip-n-slides to cool one off on a hot day - but I don't have my bathing suit here, not to mention reliable access to water. So what's a guy to do after a hot day of sweating in front of a classroom? Fortunately, I have my friend (and possible soulmate?) Betsy to thank for these four simple words that have revolutionized my life:

Fan. On. Pants. Off.

Fan On, Pants OffTM is the easy, but remarkably effective way to beat the oppressive heat of a day of a classroom filled with sweat and the stench of fear. It takes only three simple steps! Step 1: Take off your pants. Step 2: Turn on your fan. Step 3: Lay in front of (or under! it doesn't matter!) your fan. AND BAM. FAN ON, PANTS OFF ACHIEVED.

Note: Steps 1 and 2 can be interchanged. That's how easy this is!!!!

Fan On, Pants Off (FOPO)TM can be used for just about anything. Too hot outside? FOPOTM. Had a rough day corralling kids/interneting at work? FOPOTM. Indegestion from too much kimchi at dinner? FOPOTM! Did your wife leave you? Do you have an incurable disease? Probably you should seek professional help, but also FOPOTM. I am not kidding folks. Just take your pants off and turn your fan on and FEEL the difference.

FOPO is a registered trademark of the Nolen and Betsy Are Way Awesomer Than You (NABAWATY) Corporation. All rights reserved. Copyright 2010.